


Am I a Joke to You?

by lialin1021



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Dialogue Heavy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Opposites Attract, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lialin1021/pseuds/lialin1021
Summary: As his best friend leaves him alone in the building where they grew up, Baekhyun does not have much time to think about missing him because his friend’s older brother moves in instead. The older brother Baekhyun has hated as long as he can remember. Despite that, Baekhyun decides to be at least decent when he meets him, which still backfires as soon as it starts.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Junmyeon | Suho
Comments: 16
Kudos: 121





	Am I a Joke to You?

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot tell you how much I love these two together. I hope that I did them justice and that you’ll enjoy it. Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

“I still can’t believe you’re moving away and leaving me here.”

Baekhyun sighs, sprawled out on his best friend’s sofa, watching him pack all of his stuff into big cardboard boxes. This is probably one of the worst days of Baekhyun’s life. He and Jongdae have lived in their apartment building since they were little kids. As they got older, their parents left them their respective apartments and moved to smaller, yet still luxurious ones. And everything seemed perfect. Having his best friend one floor above him is something Baekhyun can’t imagine living without. But now he will have to get used to it. It sucks.

“Come on, you didn’t expect me to spend the rest of my life in this apartment, did you?” Jongdae says without looking at his friend because he is too focused on packing his books.

“I kind of did. Or at least I expected we would find different apartments. I definitely did not expect you to buy a house and move to the suburbs just because your fiancée feels like it will be a better place for raising your future kids.”

“Don’t blame it on her. I want it as much as she does.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun grunts. “I don’t care anymore. I just hope that you’ll rent it to someone at least half decent. I’m not interested in living below some bozos.”

“Oh, actually,” Jongdae stops neatly organizing his books into boxes, wipes his hands on his jeans and approaches the sofa where Baekhyun is lying. “I’m not renting it.”

“What?” Baekhyun turns to him. As he recognizes his best friend’s apologetic expression, he goes into a panic mode. “What did you do? Who did you sell it to?”

“Nobody. I’m not selling it either.”

“So? It will stay empty?” That calms Baekhyun down. At least there won’t be any stumping or loud music. He actually likes the idea of that.

“No, it won’t.”

“Are your parents coming back then?” Less than ideal, but Baekhyun actually really likes Jongdae’s parents. They are much less uptight than his.

“No.”

“What? Unless you’ve decided to stay just now, I think we’ve run out of options,” Baekhyun chuckles. “Is that it? Please say that is it.”

“No, it’s obviously not,” Jongdae shakes his head. He has been trying to postpone this as much as possible, but that unfortunately ends now. “There’s one more option left.” He pauses. He needs to prepare himself to be physically attacked by Baekhyun. “Junmyeon has decided to move in.”

Junmyeon… Baekhyun’s stomach does a flip. This can’t be happening. “Are you fucking serious? Please tell me that this is a joke.”

“I am serious. Look, Baekhyun, I know that you and Junmyeon aren’t exactly… well, you kind of hate him, but…”

“Not just kind of. I fucking hate his guts.”

“Don’t say that about my brother, please.” Jongdae runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “You know that this puts me in a very uncomfortable position because I can’t choose between you two.”

“Fine, I’ll just leave then, wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Baekhyun stands up, ready to storm out of the apartment, but Jongdae comes and stands in his way.

“Baekhyun, don’t do this. Punch me or whatever but not this,” he breathes out. “Look, you haven’t seen Junmyeon in like, what, two years? You both have grown up. I’m sure it will be just fine. You might come across each other in the lobby, so what. You’ll say hello and move on.”

“Move on?” Baekhyun shakes his head. Easy for Jongdae to say. “I still haven’t moved on since he beat me to the punch with his coming out.”

“Baekhyun! We’ve been over this a million times,” Jongdae feels like ripping his hair out. Baekhyun is like his family, sometimes even more than that, but the fact that he cannot let things go really frustrates him. “How could he have known that you were planning to come out?

“Oh come on! Everyone knew I was gay since I was like six. I was sixteen at that time, a perfect time to finally come out. And then, he had to do it first! And nobody had any idea he could be gay! So, of course, it was a much bigger deal. I had to wait half a year for all that shock and celebration of gayness to die out so that I could come out with the sole focus being on me.”

“Do you…?”

“Yes, I do know how self-centred that sounds, I’m not stupid,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “But coming out is a huge deal and I think is normal that I wanted people to be with me and only with me throughout this process.”

“No, I get it… I mean I don’t but I kind of do at the same time,” Jongdae puts his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “But you need to finally realize Junmyeon did not do it on purpose. He was leaving for college and wanted to take this off his chest. He was not trying to rain on your parade.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll give you that. But that does not change the fact that he treated me like garbage when we were growing up.”

“Stop exaggerating,” Jongdae shakes with Baekhyun’s shoulder before lowering his hand. “I admit that he was very strict with you. But he did that because he cared.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now you’ll say shit like he wanted me to stay out of trouble and make something of myself,” Baekhyun says accurately because he has heard it a million times. “And I call bullshit. He always had a stick up his ass and didn’t want anyone else to have fun.”

“Fine, whatever, I’m done with this,” Jongdae goes back to packing up his stuff. “But I strongly suggest that you should deal with all of your resentment soon because Junmyeon is moving in in two days.”

“Sure,” Baekhyun says with a clear irony in his voice and flops back on the sofa.

“And for what it’s worth, I’ve always thought that Junmyeon paid way more attention to you than to me when you were young.”

Baekhyun wants to thank Jongdae and tell him that it is worth absolutely nothing, but he decides against it. He does not want to invalidate his emotions.

“Yeah, just because I annoyed the crap out of him, and he wanted me to shut up most of the time.”

“Maybe,” Jongdae shrugs. “But maybe he just thought you needed it more than me.”

~

Baekhyun slams the door behind him and starts pacing around his apartment. He needs to process what has just happened because he certainly did not expect to run into Junmyeon so soon. Jongdae moved out like three days ago, and now there they are, he and Junmyeon, staring at each other by the mailboxes.

The thing that frustrates Baekhyun the most is that Junmyeon has gotten really hot. Like uncomfortably hot. He has always been handsome, but that is nothing special. Handsome does nothing with Baekhyun. Handsome means too polished and perfect. But being hot. That is when it gets complicated.

But anyway, so what, so he is hot now. Big deal. He still probably has the personality of a kitchen cabinet. Not that Baekhyun would know, they didn’t exactly speak to each other. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, then Junmyeon said hi, then Baekhyun said hi, and that was mostly it.

It was so uncomfortable and the worst part about it is that it got Baekhyun thinking. Maybe he should extend an olive branch? It is quite possible they will run into each other again and doing this whole uncomfortable thing every time could get old soon. Baekhyun would probably explode by the fifth meeting and just yell at Junmyeon.

Yes, he still very much hates him, that has not changed at all. However, letting this situation unresolved seems to be a bad idea.

Okay. It is decided.

~

Several hours later, Baekhyun is standing in front of Jongdae’s, well, technically now Junmyeon’s door, holding a box with caramel cookies he bought in the bakery they used to go to all the time as little kids. Yes, they are Junmyeon’s favourites, and yes, Baekhyun knows it might be a little weird that he remembers, but it is too late to run away and buy something else because he has just knocked on the door and he can hear the steps behind it.

Here we go.

“Baekhyun.” Junmyeon looks surprised to see him. He is wearing the same suit he was in the morning, but this time without the jacket and with the shirt sleeves rolled up. “Hi. I did not expect you would –”

“Well, me neither, but then I saw these cookies and thought you would appreciate being welcomed in the building.” Baekhyun hands Junmyeon the box, which he takes with a hint of hesitation.

“Thanks… that’s really nice of you.”

“I know,” Baekhyun chuckles. But then Junmyeon gives him this look, which suggest he did not get the fact that Baekhyun is joking, and Baekhyun is reminded why they do not get along at all. “Look, I know I’m not one of your favourite people but –”

“What makes you say that?” And there it is again. The look. That strict _I’m judging you_ look.

“Well, am I one of your favourite people?”

“Am I yours?”

“That does not answer my question.”

“I feel like it does.”

Baekhyun seriously wants to punch him or something. It has always been like this. They communicate in completely different ways. Baekhyun is straightforward and says what is on his mind, and Junmyeon just stands there, judging him, being cryptic.

“Let’s not get into this now,” he decides to let it go. But just this once. Junmyeon will not be so lucky in the future if they ever speak again that is. “I just wanted to say welcome and I hope that moving here will be a nice transition.”

As he turns to leave, Junmyeon’s voice stops him. “Wait. Do you want to come in?”

Baekhyun looks back at him to evaluate if he is serious or not. It seems like he is. Of course. As if he could ever be anything else.

“If you don’t – what the hell, you’ve already unpacked?”

The last time Baekhyun saw this place, it was just a couple of pieces of furniture and nothing. Now, it looks like someone has been living here for the past few years. There is new furniture and all kinds of stuff either placed or scattered everywhere. Junmyeon has certainly made himself feel at home. Which kind of makes sense because this was his home for many years.

“I have. I didn’t want to have boxes lying around, so I unpacked everything in one day,” Junmyeon explains. “Anyway, can I get you something?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” Baekhyun replies while still looking around. “It’s strange. It seems like Jongdae never lived here.”

“Do you miss him?” Junmyeon asks all of a sudden. Since when does he ask people questions about their emotions? Perhaps he has changed in the last two years.

“Like crazy.”

“But you live with your boyfriend, right? So, it can’t be that lonely.”

“Boyfriend?” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side. “What boyfriend?”

“Oh. I though… last time I heard Jongdae spoke about you he mentioned that your boyfriend will be moving in with you.”

“I see. That boyfriend,” Baekhyun lets out a forced laugh. “That was like five months ago and he actually never moved in. So no, no boyfriend living with me. You?” He needs to transfer the attention to Junmyeon because there is no way he is answering any questions about this topic.

“No, I’ve been single for a very long time.”

“Married to your work?” It is not a rough guess. It is actually more of a rhetorical question.

“You could say that,” Junmyeon lets out what sounds like a chuckle but definitely a very weak one, he could only be letting the air out of his lungs at this point. “What about you? Still pursuing stand-up comedy?”

That fucking judging look again. “Yes. Is that a problem?”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

Again. And again. Baekhyun should have known this would turn into a fucking lecture. He never should have come in. “No, it’s not. Is you working till your last breath and dying alone a problem?”

Baekhyun couldn’t keep it in. Since Junmyeon can judge his life decisions, so can Baekhyun judge Junmyeon’s.

“Is that really what you think my life is about?”

“Yes. And I wouldn’t judge you if you didn’t start giving me that look again.”

“Oh. The look. I’ve missed hearing that.” Junmyeon might be emotionless most of the time, but he does sarcasm really well.

“So, you’re telling me you are fine with me being a stand-up comedian?”

“Actually, I am. I am fine with you having a hobby.” Here we go again. All bets are off at this point and both of them know it. “What I am not fine with is you getting sponsored by your parents, who give you money because they feel like they owe it to you.”

“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t get a job at my father’s company. I was too busy following my own path.”

“I’ve worked for every position and every opportunity I’ve been given.” Junmyeon might not look or sound frustrated to some, but Baekhyun knows him. He is furious. “No one still has any idea that I am his son. Perhaps it is difficult for you to understand since you do not know the meaning of work.”

“Yeah, I do not. I just lie around and do nothing. You’re right.” Baekhyun is so fucking done. “I’m the worthless piece of shit you predicted I would become.”

“I have never said that.”

“You thought about saying that.”

“No, definitely not.” At this point, Junmyeon starts to move. Just a little bit. Taking small steps and moving from side to side. “I thought about saying that you would be wasting your potential. But that is it. I do not think you're worthless. I never have.”

There is suddenly a knock at the door, which startles both men. Baekhyun looks at Junmyeon to see what he is going to do. Answer it, or continue their awful, little fight?

“Those are my friends, they…” Junmyeon seemingly does not know what to do first, talk to Baekhyun or answer the door. “They were supposed to come, and someone must have let them in.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun simply says, but Junmyeon obviously interprets it as a permission to let his friends come in, which he does before Baekhyun can intervene in any way.

“Hi, someone let us in,” one of the two men says. They are both tall, young, and good looking. How the hell are these people interested in hanging out with someone like Junmyeon?

“Cool. Hey, I’ve lost track of time and let my neighbour in, this… this is Byun Baekhyun. He’s my brother’s best friend, and he lives right below me.”

What an introduction. The only thing Junmyeon forgot to mention is that they have just been in quite a nasty fight. But whatever.

“Hi,” Baekhyun greets the two guys.

“This is Oh Sehun,” Junmyeon points to the more serious looking one. “And this is Kim Jongin.”

“Nice to meet you,” both of them say with big smiles. That must mean they have probably never heard of Baekhyun. And why would they anyway? It is not like Baekhyun talks about Junmyeon to other people.

“It’s really nice to meet you too, but I should probably… I need to get ready for work, so…”

“Oh, what do you do?” Jongin asks.

Baekhyun and Junmyeon share a look. It is comical almost. But at this point, Baekhyun feels like crying more than laughing.

“I do stand-up.”

“Oh yeah! I saw one of your videos,” Sehun exclaims.

“You did?”

“Yeah! I saw Junmyeon watching it on his phone, and I joined him. You’re so funny.”

Baekhyun’s jaw almost drops to the ground. Junmyeon has watched his videos? He immediately wants to make eye contact with Junmyeon, but the man seems to avoid it. Instead, he is looking at his TV set as if he has never noticed it being there before.

“Thanks. But it’s nothing special, really.”

“Please, it’s great,” Sehun flashes him a dazzling smile. If Baekhyun wasn’t too distracted by everything that is going on, he would appreciate more how attractive this guy is. “I never expected Junmyeon would watch something like that, but I guess now it makes sense since you’re his brother’s friend.”

“Yeah.” No, it does not make any sense at all. “I guess so.”

“We should not keep Baekhyun any longer, he said he needs to get ready, right?” Junmyeon intervenes.

“Yeah, I did.” Baekhyun knows how to take a hint. “It was nice meeting you both.”

“You too.”

As Baekhyun takes the stairs and walks to his apartment, he cannot help but wonder: why would Junmyeon watch his videos? To let Baekhyun know how much he sucks if he has ever met him? Or is he actually interested in Baekhyun’s career? Or was it just a one-time thing because he was curious? Baekhyun cannot tell, and he is pretty sure Junmyeon wouldn’t tell him if he asked. Because Junmyeon does not answer his questions in a simple way like that. He would definitely find some way of avoiding answering the question and annoying the hell out of Baekhyun.

~

“Baekhyun?”

There are fingers snapping right in front of Baekhyun’s face, which finally makes him pay attention to the person right next to him. It is one of his stand-up friends, Chanyeol. Oh yeah, they are preparing to go on stage… damn, Baekhyun is so lost in his own thoughts.

“Yeah? I’m sorry, my mind’s all over the place.”

“Really? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun lies. He knows it too damn well. “Hey, Chanyeol, how would you interpret it if you found out someone watched a video with your stand-up?”

Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a look. He is not used to him asking such vague questions. Baekhyun can see the surprise on his face and it makes him curse Junmyeon even more because he probably infected Baekhyun with his mysterious, obscure questions.

“I don’t know. But I think that if someone watches our videos, it means they are really interested in our work. We are not famous enough to have videos just popping up in someone’s recommendations, you know.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

That is what Baekhyun was thinking. Junmyeon must have actively searched for his videos, it can’t have been a coincidence. That still does not answer the more important questions Baekhyun needs answered, but at least it is something.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol puts his hand on his shoulder. “You seem really distracted. I can take over your set if you’re not feeling well.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Baekhyun waves his hand dismissively. “It’s just that I met someone after a long time today. Someone who makes me want to rip his head off, to be completely honest.”

“Oh. Is that an ex-boyfriend?”

“No! God no.” Can you imagine that? Just the idea of it sounds silly. “I mean… we made out like once, but that was out of pure desperation or whatever. And we don’t talk about it. Ever.”

Baekhyun has not thought about that day for a long time. It happened like five years ago. Junmyeon came to visit his family over Christmas, and everything seemed normal. They said hi and mostly ignored each other. But then in the evening, Baekhyun had a fight with his mother and needed to get out of the apartment. He simply sat down on a bench at the playground near their building, the playground he knew so well from his childhood, and tried to clear his head. But Junmyeon suddenly appeared and sat next to him. They started with small talk, but it soon turned into an argument, like it usually does when they talk, during which they locked eyes and one thing lead to another and they started making out. Junmyeon was the one to pull away first. He even apologized, which made Baekhyun extremely angry for some reason, so he didn’t say a word and just left. And they haven’t spoken about it since.

“You know, maybe it makes you so angry because there is an unresolved sexual tension between you two.”

“Hahaha, Chanyeol, good one, leave something for the people in the audience, don’t waste all of your jokes on me.”

There has never been any sexual tension between Baekhyun and Junmyeon. They simply couldn’t stand each other because they were such polar opposites. That kissed happened because anger and passion are somehow similar emotions and it can be hard to tell them apart sometimes. They just interpreted all that anger in a wrong way. Right?

“It was not a joke, but fine. You know what, let’s stop talking about it and just get drinks after the show, that will probably help you more than me trying to talk some sense into you.”

~

It is two o’clock in the morning. Baekhyun is banging on Junmyeon’s door. He is pretty drunk at the moment, which gives him a lot of courage, but not too drunk to realize that he is going to regret this when he is sober. He still needs to do this though. It is time.

Junmyeon opens the door while rubbing his eyes. He is wearing his sleep attire, boxer shorts and a T-shirt, and his hair is sticking out on the side.

“Baekhyun.” He says the name in his raspy _I’ve just woken up_ voice. “If you’re here to finish our conversation, I think you could have picked a more suitable time.”

“No, this is a perfect time,” Baekhyun barges into the apartment. “I have a question to ask you.”

“You’re obviously drunk, _and_ you have a question to ask me. I can’t wait how this turns out.”

“Shut up.” Baekhyun is done with his sarcasm. “Do you think we have unresolved sexual tension between us? Yes, or no?”

“Do you?”

“And here you fucking go again.” Baekhyun knew this would happen. “I asked you a question, I want to hear your answer! Is that so hard to understand?”

“Yes, it is. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because!” Seriously, so frustrating. Baekhyun feels like he will have to bang Junmyeon’s head against the wall to get something out of it. “You kissed me that time. Remember?”

Junmyeon goes pale. They have had an unspoken agreement that they would never mention it, but Baekhyun totally just broke it right now. “You kissed me too.”

“Fine, we kissed that time. So? Was that sexual tension, or was it something else?”

“It was a mistake, let’s just start with that.”

Oh. That hurt for some strange reason. But at least they are getting somewhere. “I realize kissing someone like me must have been quite unpleasant for you.”

“It was.” Well, leave it to Junmyeon to start being honest at the worst possible moment. “You’re my brother’s best friend. I am not supposed to kiss you.”

“Is that it?” Baekhyun’s voice wavers.

“Yes, Baekhyun.” So far, they have been standing a few meters apart, Baekhyun near the living room window and Junmyeon by the door, but now it seems like Junmyeon wants to come closer. However, he only takes one step and does not move further. “Why did you come here?”

“Because I had a question to ask you. One you still haven’t answered, by the way.”

“Just because of that?” Junmyeon looks down as if he cannot bear to look at Baekhyun any longer. It hurts. “You’ve come here drunk in the middle of the night to ask me if there is sexual tension between us. I might not be the best at relationships but even I can tell you came here for something else.”

“I did not!” Baekhyun is offended. “You think I want to have sex with you? Please. I could walk into a club right now and get any guy to fuck me.” Sure, Baekhyun does not need this. “Actually, that might be a good idea. I should go right now. But let me warn you: I’ll be especially loud so you should find some earplugs or something.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds like healthy behaviour.” That judging look again. Paired with sarcasm. Baekhyun is so done with this.

“Fine, say whatever you want, I don’t care anymore.” Baekhyun walks over to the door. “Just… can you, please answer my question? Just once.”

“Baekhyun.” He hates the way Junmyeon says his name. “You’re Jongdae’s best friend. We basically grew up together. It would be wrong.”

“I am not asking you to have sex with me.” So many misunderstandings. Or does Junmyeon ignore the main point on purpose? “I just want to know if you feel the same way as I do.”

“And that is?”

Fine, if Baekhyun must be the one to say it first, he will do it. Who cares anymore. “I feel like… there is something between us. I don’t know what it is. It might be just that we don’t get along because we are so different, but since I was like sixteen, I’ve felt like there was more to it. And I’ve forgotten about it because we haven’t seen each other for a long time, but here it is again. I’m really not asking you to do anything. I just want to know if I’m not the only one who feels this way.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again. Baekhyun does not even need to listen to know what words are coming.

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I really am.”

Baekhyun really thought he would get an answer this time. Guess not. He doesn’t know what it is, if Junmyeon is too scared to admit it or if there is something else to it. But it does not matter because the answer will still be the same.

“I figured you would be. Bye.”

~

This time it is Junmyeon who knocks on Baekhyun’s door. He is holding a big box wrapped in a colourful wrapping paper with a huge bow on it.

“Is that an apology gift?” is the first thing Baekhyun says once he opens the door.

He certainly expected not to see Junmyeon for quite some time, so having him at this door is a surprise. Not really a pleasant one though because he still feels quite hurt about what went down between them. But if Junmyeon wants to be the one who starts mending fences, he is fine with it.

“No, actually… I don’t know how to say this, it is rather awkward.”

“Just say it.”

Baekhyun is curious about what is going on.

“A guy knocked on my door, thinking Jongdae still lives there, and asked me to give this present to you because you wouldn’t take it from him.”

“Oh.” Fuck. This is not good. “Did he say anything else at all?”

“Yes.” Junmyeon talks very slowly. As if that would help soften the blow. “He introduced himself and explained the situation to me. I’m sorry.”

“Shit,” Baekhyun cannot help but swear at this point. “And since you and Kyungsoo are such good friends now, did he also explain why he is giving me a present now?”

“He said it would be your anniversary tomorrow.”

“I forgot about that.” He really did. He underestimated how much Kyungsoo cares about it. “And what does he expect? That he will get me a present and we will get back together?”

“That I don’t know,” Junmyeon says awkwardly. “Look, Baekhyun, I know this is not my business, but I have to ask. Why would you dump your boyfriend who was moving in with you when he asked you to marry him? He was moving in. You must have been serious about the relationship.”

“Junmyeon, let me tell you something. This is not for you to get. I’ve made my decision, and I stand behind it. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“True,” Junmyeon nods slowly. “I’m sorry I asked.”

“You should be. I’m not asking _you_ why you are still single, am I? Because that would be insinuating that there is something wrong with you.”

“Perhaps there is,” Junmyeon says with an unreadable expression on his face. “Anyway, will you keep the present or should I throw it out or something?”

Baekhyun looks at the box in Junmyeon’s hands. He already knows what it is. Kyungsoo always promised he would get him this for their anniversary.

“I’ll keep it,” he takes the present and holds it close to his torso. “I’ve always wanted one.”

“You know what it is?”

“Yeah. It is the Lego fort set you had when we were young.” Junmyeon’s eyes widen. “I wanted one really badly, but my parents wouldn’t get it for me because they didn’t want Legos lying around and you wouldn’t let me play with it because you thought I would lose some of the pieces. When I told Kyungsoo about it, he felt bad for me and promised he would get me one.”

“That is really nice of him.”

“It is. He is a nice guy.”

“Just not a nice guy for you?”

“Something like that.”

Kyungsoo always took care of Baekhyun. He made sure everything was perfect between them. But there was something missing. That is why Baekhyun couldn’t agree to marry him and decided it would be better to just end the relationship before they ended up hurting each other even more.

“Thank you for bringing this to me.”

“Oh. No problem,” Junmyeon smiles a little, which is quite unusual for him. At least when it is the two of them together. “By the way, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Well, if you need company, I have some free time and maybe we could unpack the Lego and build it together? I feel like you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“Junmyeon, that is very sweet, and I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay.” Baekhyun truly is okay. At least as far as the Kyungsoo thing goes. To be honest, Junmyeon’s presence makes him feel more things than this ever could. “And I have a gig in two hours.”

“I see,” Junmyeon breaths out. “Can I come?”

“What?” Baekhyun did not expect this. And now he does not know how to answer. Telling Junmyeon not to come would sure be quite rude. “I mean… if you want to? Do you want to?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t, would I?” Junmyeon says with a smile playing across his lips. “I might bring Sehun, my friend.”

“Sure, bring him, he’s cute.”

Junmyeon narrows his eyes. “I’m not bringing him for that reason. He likes your jokes. And he has a boyfriend.”

“I wasn’t going to hit on him, it was just an observation,” Baekhyun cannot help but roll his eyes. He would obviously never hit on Junmyeon’s friend right in front of Junmyeon. Well, at least not if he was sober.

~

Baekhyun hates performing in front of people he knows. He feels like he bombs every time. But this time he made sure that would not happen. He pulled all of his best material, and it worked. People laughed the whole time and clapped loudly at the end. It was one of the best stand-ups in his career, and he feels like if that does not shut Junmyeon up, nothing ever will.

“You were on a roll tonight, my friend,” Chanyeol gives him a fist bump once Baekhyun comes backstage.

“I know, right?” Baekhyun laughs and twirls on the spot. He can still feel the adrenalin coursing through his system. “Listen, Chanyeol, I would love to hang out, but I need to go gloat in front of Junmyeon.”

“Oh, yeah, that guy. Which one is he by the way?”

“He’s sitting at the bar, similar height as me, dark brown hair, and he’s wearing dark jeans and a shirt.”

“That guy! I saw him when I was buying my drink,” Chanyeol nods in understanding. “I know I’m straight, but that is one fine looking man.”

“Shut up, he’s okay, but that is it.” Baekhyun is obviously lying, but he cannot just admit how good-looking Junmyeon is. “Anyway, see you tomorrow.”

On his way to the bar, Baekhyun check out his hair and overall look in the mirror in the hallway. Yeah, sure, Junmyeon might be handsome, but Baekhyun is not that bad himself. He flashes himself a smile and heads to the men sitting at the bar.

“Baekhyun, hi, you did great! I laughed so much!” Sehun immediately lights up once he sees him and even gets out of his bar stool to give Baekhyun a hug, which is quite unexpected.

“Thanks. I’m glad you liked it,” says Baekhyun, who is not sure what to do with his hands while being hugged.

“I loved it.” Sehun finally lets him go. “Come on, let me buy you a drink. What are you having?”

“Just a beer, thanks.”

“No problem.”

Baekhyun gives him a small smile and then turns to Junmyeon, who is sitting right next to Sehun. “And what did you think?”

“It was good,” Junmyeon says and takes a sip of what looks like a whisky.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean I’m not an expert on stand-up so I wouldn’t really know but –”

“You don’t have to be an expert to appreciate it,” Sehun jumps in. “It’s comedy. If it is funny and you like it, it is good. Am I right?”

“You are, Sehun, thank you,” Baekhyun grins and takes the beer handed to him by Sehun. “I must say I am quite surprised that Junmyeon has a friend like you.”

“Yeah, well, aren’t we all,” Sehun laughs. “But Junmyeon needs a friend who will drag him out and make him relax a little bit. He’s so stiff you could iron your clothes on his back.”

“I’ve been saying that since we were little!”

“Let’s calm down. And can we stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here?” Junmyeon interrupts, obviously quite uncomfortable with this whole thing.

“Of course. We’ll talk about you as if you were here,” Sehun pats his back. “So, Baekhyun, tell me, how was Junmyeon as a little kid?”

Baekhyun chuckles. “So fucking serious all the time. I remember him doing his homework while Jongdae and I played in the living room. Any time we would make more noise than he found acceptable, he would reprimand us and tell us to go do our homework. He was like eight or nine when he started doing it. It was so annoying.”

“I can imagine. And how was he in high school? Did everybody love him?”

“I mean girls liked him for his face and all, but I heard that as a class president he was even more strict than the teachers. And he turned down every girl who confessed to him. Which started to make sense when he came out, but still.” Baekhyun remembers that he never understood why Junmyeon was so reserved and distant all the time. “Enough about him. What about you? Junmyeon tells me you have a boyfriend. What is he like?”

“He told you?” Sehun looks surprised that the topic has come up, but does not investigate it further, which is great because that would be awkward. “Well, my boyfriend’s great. He’s a bit older than me, but he has such a baby face you would never know. We met at the gym and we’ve been together for five months. Five really amazing months. And what about you? Are you seeing anybody special?”

“No, nobody special. Just some guys here and there, you know.”

“Sure,” Sehun laughs. “Which reminds me: is there anyone you know that we could set up with Junmyeon? I’ve been trying to get him to meet someone for the longest time, and I have been failing miserably.”

“Sehun, please, I beg you to stop,” Junmyeon turns to stare at Sehun.

“What did I say?” Sehun feigns innocence.

“I’m sorry but nobody comes to mind,” Baekhyun quickly says. “Plus, I don’t really have any gay friends.”

“Well, now you have us,” Sehun pats him on the head.

~

As he and Junmyeon walk home together, Baekhyun does not really feel like talking for once in his life, so he asks Junmyeon about his work, which he knows will keep him babbling at least till they get home, perhaps even longer than that.

“So, you know, it was a huge problem because the numbers should have looked completely different so I had to create another template that would explain this, but…”

Baekhyun cannot believe how excited Junmyeon gets about financial planning and analysis. Like he actually loves it. Which makes no sense because that is that kind of work you do when you want to make solid money and you are good with numbers. It is not something that you decide to pursue because you have a passion for it. But Junmyeon is different in that regard. He has always been.

“… and then they told me that this prediction does not work for them, they need higher numbers. Which is crazy because numbers are numbers, aren’t they? Anyway, I…”

When they were in high school, Junmyeon helped Jongdae with his math homework even though Jongdae was quite good at math. It was because Junmyeon insisted that he must do better than good. Baekhyun, on the other hand, was horrible at math, and Junmyeon told him it was because he didn’t try hard enough. It was true, but why try hard when you know you will suck anyway, and it will be completely useless? And he could just copy Jongdae’s answers since their teacher did not care, she was so close to retirement and did not pay attention to them at all during exams.

“… when we presented it to them, they didn’t even notice that one of our interns screwed up the graph. I was relieved, but obviously I had to scold him, so…”

One day, Jongdae let it slip out that Baekhyun copied his answers, and Junmyeon got so mad. He said that Baekhyun was irresponsible and selfish and that he would get Jongdae into trouble one day, ruining his future. Baekhyun thought that was a little extreme, but that pissed Junmyeon off even more. He told Baekhyun that perhaps his parents would give him money one day because they felt bad that they didn’t pay enough attention to Baekhyun and let him be alone at home so often, but that their parents were not that kind of people and they wouldn’t give Jongdae anything for free, so he has to work hard and stay out of trouble because how else he would get a job one day.

Words like this made Baekhyun think that Junmyeon believed he was annoying and useless. And there were more examples. Junmyeon always commented on anything Baekhyun did. Like he was his parent. And he did not do this with Jongdae. Sure, he guided him, but it was subtle and kind, except for school stuff, of course. With Baekhyun though, he was quite direct when he did not approve of something. On the other hand, he was cryptic when it came to things like understanding or praise, which he expressed very freely with Jongdae.

“… don’t get me wrong, everybody makes mistakes, but you really shouldn’t, you know? At least not such obvious mistakes. If it were me, I would feel so bad and…”

Suddenly, Baekhyun remembers what Jongdae had said before Junmyeon moved in. That perhaps Junmyeon paid so much attention to Baekhyun when they were young because he thought Baekhyun needed it. At that time, Baekhyun did not think much of it. But now that he has time to think about it when he is not listening to Junmyeon, he sees how that would be possible. Because despite all the critique and harsh words, Junmyeon never told him to go away. Anytime they met outside he told him to come to their apartment.

Wait. Could it really be the awareness that Baekhyun spend so much time alone made Junmyeon worried about him or something?

“Yes, so back to my previous point –”

“Yeah, no, I get it,” Baekhyun suddenly interrupts the monologue, having no idea what that previous point was, but it does not matter. “I need to ask you something.”

“Again?” Junmyeon’s expression goes from happy to neutral. Which is the fucking worst, as far as Baekhyun is concerned.

“Yes. But it is a different question.”

A pregnant pause. “Okay.”

“Well, I was thinking…” Baekhyun can see Junmyeon’s eyebrow slowly rising. “Why were you so hard on me when we were kids?”

“What?” Junmyeon seems caught off guard by that question. “Why are you asking me that now?”

“No reason,” Baekhyun lies. “Just curious.”

“I see.” It is obvious Junmyeon does not believe him because he knows Baekhyun does not ask questions just because. “Well, I was hard on you because you were a troublemaker.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes. Why? Should there be another reason?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“No?” Junmyeon furrows his brows. They are stuck once again. “Did you want to hear something else?”

“No.” Baekhyun lets the fact that he is annoyed show in his voice. This time, he really wants Junmyeon to tell him the truth. “So why did you not tell me to go away?”

“Why? You were my brother’s friend.”

“True. But we could have hung out in my apartment.” The way Junmyeon averts his eyes tells Baekhyun that he has hit the nail on the head. “So?”

“Fine, if you want me to say it so bad, I will,” Junmyeon finally gives up. “You were a lonely kid, okay? Your brother was away at college, and your parents worked all the time. And they did not care, did they? They thought they could repair your relationship by buying you stuff. But it did not help. You needed their attention. So, you acted out. And that did not help either. They could not care less, basically.”

“Fine, okay, thank you for –”

“And I was so fucking pissed at them!” Junmyeon does not let Baekhyun finish, probably not even noticing he tried to speak because he is really letting his emotions out. “You had so much potential, but instead of applying it at school, you just gave up. Because nothing you did mattered. That just… I don’t know, something about that has made me resent them.”

Wow. Baekhyun had no idea Junmyeon felt like that about his parents. Not even Jongdae has fully realized how difficult it was for Baekhyun growing up, perhaps because Baekhyun does not talk about. He would also say he does not dwell on it, but that is not exactly true. Because he does.

“I see,” Baekhyun says after a short moment of silence. “Thank you for being honest.”

Realization dawns on Junmyeon. Did he just say all that? “No, I… I am sorry, I did not –”

“You did, and it’s fine, trust me,” Baekhyun smiles. “But I want you to know that I did not decide to do stand-up just because I gave up. I see it as a serious job.”

“No, I know,” Junmyeon breathes out. “And you really should. You were amazing tonight.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun feels his face getting hot. “Thank you.”

And that is it. Baekhyun cannot believe he actually got Junmyeon to admit to something. That has to be one of the biggest achievements of his life. It is like unlocking a vault without the code, seriously.

“Well, since we are being honest with each other,” Junmyeon says out of nowhere, and Baekhyun has no idea where this is going. “I have a question as well.” Baekhyun nods to let him know he can continue. “Why did you say no to Kyungsoo?”

This damned thing. Baekhyun should have seen it coming.

“Because I was not ready to get married.”

“That’s fair,” Junmyeon shrugs. “But why did you break up with him? I’m sure he would be fine with continuing your relationship.”

“That would be kind of awkward, wouldn’t it?” Baekhyun chuckles, but it is obviously fake. Junmyeon even gives him a look that suggest he expect the same honesty he displayed before from Baekhyun. “Fine. You’ll think I’m stupid but… the moment he proposed to me I knew he wasn’t the one. He is seriously the nicest guy ever, but there was something missing between us. At least for me. And I had tried to ignore it, but once I saw that ring it was over. I just… I knew I had to face the truth.”

“That does not make you sound stupid at all. That is actually rather brave,” Junmyeon says the last thing Baekhyun expected him to say.

“Is it?” he needs to make sure he heard right.

“Sure. You could have said yes because you didn’t want to hurt him, but ultimately you would have ended up hurting him even more once it was no longer possible to pretend.”

“Exactly!” Baekhyun lights up. It feels so good to be understood. Wow. Being understood by Junmyeon… who would have thought. “I can’t tell you how good it feels to be honest.”

“Yeah, it does,” Junmyeon lets out a laugh. However, his expression soon turns serious. “Look, Baekhyun. What I am about to say is something you can’t ever tell Jongdae, okay?”

“Okay,” Baekhyun says with a slight hesitation. He tells Jongdae almost everything, so it feels wrong to agree to that, but he really wants to hear what Junmyeon is about to say.

“What you said the other day… I feel the same way.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Baekhyun is not pretending, he seriously does not know what Junmyeon is referring to.

“The tension.”

Oh. _The_ tension. Now that is something completely new. Junmyeon admitting to his feelings without being prompted and forced. What a day.

“And when I said that the kiss was a mistake, I did not mean that I hated it. I meant that is was wrong of me to take advantage of you in that situation. To take advantage of my brother’s best friend.”

“What situation?”

“I heard the fight you had with your mom through the window, and I knew you were upset, so I went to look for you… but I had no ulterior motives, I swear!” Baekhyun almost wants to laugh because he can’t even imagine Junmyeon having ulterior motives. “However, I still kissed you when you were quite distraught, and that was wrong.”

“Junmyeon, you have got to be kidding me,” Baekhyun shakes his head with a smile. “You feel bad about kissing me just because I was a little upset? Do you have any idea what other people have done to me in states when I –”

“No, I don’t want to hear it!” Junmyeon almost covers his ears, but then he realizes something. “Wait, it was nothing serious, right?”

“No, God no! I was in a state to give legit consent, but still a bit drunk and they fucked me, so –”

“Baekhyun, no, stop!” This time Junmyeon seriously covers his ears with his hands. Like a little child. It is rather cute actually.

“Come on, don’t be such a prude!” Baekhyun makes him drop his hands. “We are adults.”

“Yeah, but still… that is an intimate act between two people.”

“You sound like a virgin. Not that there is anything wrong with –”

“I am not a virgin!” Junmyeon raises his voice slightly, which is like screaming for normal people. “I’m just not… you know… not comfortable with stuff like this. Sexuality is… I don’t know, forget it.”

“Sexuality is what?”

Before Junmyeon can answer, Baekhyun reaches out to hold Junmyeon’s hand. Noticing that they are near the playground, he then proceeds to lead Junmyeon to that bench where they once kissed and makes him sit down because this does not feel like a conversation you should have while walking.

“So, what is sexuality?”

“It is… I know it was natural for you to come out but not for me. I battled with being gay. And even though everything was completely okay when I finally did come out, I still felt… shame, I guess?” Baekhyun takes a deep breath, but Junmyeon stops him immediately. “I don’t anymore, I swear! But initially it was difficult for me to start living as a gay man and dating other men. It took me a while to feel good about myself in that regard, but I did it. The only thing remaining is that talking about sex still makes me uncomfortable.”

“I am so, so sorry, I feel like an asshole, I had no idea!” Baekhyun bites his lip. It feels so strange seeing Junmyeon this unsure and vulnerable. “And to be honest, I feel like an even bigger asshole because I was mad at you when you came out. I though you wanted to upstage me.”

“You did?” Junmyeon’s eyes widen. And then he starts laughing. Like really laughing, which does not happen that often.

“What’s so funny?”

“That you thought I would want to upstage you! At that point I didn’t want anyone to know, but at the same time I could not live with the secret anymore, so I just blurted it out… there was nothing intentional about it.”

Baekhyun scrunches his face. He still does not get why this is so funny to Junmyeon. However, he is glad they can laugh about it now. Also, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It is nice to let go of all of those resentments that were actually misunderstandings.

“I’m glad that you blurted it out. And that you found your acceptance. I just wish I had known. I would have been too immature to help, but still… you needed to talk to somebody who could relate.”

“I probably did, but it does not matter anymore,” Junmyeon smiles. “I’m happy with who I am, and that is the most important thing. I know I’ve still got things to work on, but that will come with time.”

“Sure. And if I can do anything to help, just let me know.”

“Thank you, I will.”

How is this all possible? One heartfelt evening and all that animosity between them is gone. And perhaps it was never really there. It might have just been all the things they have never said and the questions they have never answered.

And to be completely honest, Baekhyun hasn’t felt this close to someone in a long time. He loves Jongdae more than anything but once his friend found the love of his life, a lot of things have changed. Baekhyun would never hold that against him, it is only natural, but the truth remains that he misses those times when it was just the two of them against the world. And moreover, it makes him wonder if he will ever find true love as well.

~

Baekhyun collapses onto his bed and closes his eyes. He thinks about the hug he just shared with Junmyeon when they said goodbye.

It was such a nice, warm hug that said a lot about the bond they had created. At the same time, however, there was something electrifying about being held in Junmyeon’s arms. Baekhyun does not know how to put it into words but he has narrowed it down to three reasons.

First of all, Junmyeon has a very toned body. A thing you notice even when he has clothes on. Second of all, Junmyeon is extremely attractive. It is not just the body. For example, he has extremely kissable lips. And third of all, Baekhyun hasn’t had sex in a while.

 _Fuck._ Unconsciously, he starts to move his hand near his crotch, but he stops himself for going any further. Because that would feel wrong.

Well, actually, it would feel fucking amazing physically, but emotionally it is a grey area. Masturbating to the thought of Junmyeon after they have spent such a pure night together seems strange.

 _Dammit._ Baekhyun turns on his stomach and screams into a pillow. This is going to be a long night.

~

This time when Baekhyun hears knocking, he is pretty sure he knows who to expect. It is a Saturday morning, two days since he and Junmyeon had their talk, and it feels like the right time to see each other again.

However, when he opens the door, he is caught by surprise. There is not one man, but two much taller guys.

“Hi, Baekhyun,” says Sehun, and then Jongin greets him as well.

They are standing at his doorstep, smiling and each holding two paper bags with what seems to be some kind of takeout.

“Hi?” he cannot help but state it as a question.

“We were wondering if you wanted to have brunch with us and Junmyeon. We are just headed to his apartment and we’ve got all the good food,” Sehun dangles one of the bags in front of Baekhyun’s face.

“That’s really nice of you, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense,” says Jongin. “We would appreciate the company and also some help with the food. We bought a lot of stuff.”

Baekhyun is still not completely sure but both of them seem like they won’t leave until he agrees, so he does. And the smell of the food does help to convince him, let’s be honest.

As they get upstairs, the door is already slightly open. Junmyeon is nowhere to be seen, but they all can hear some noises in the kitchen.

“Hey, Junmyeon, we’re here, and we brought a surprise,” Sehun yells out.

“Huh?” is all that comes from the kitchen initially. “Did you get the –” Junmyeon eventually emerges from the kitchen with some places. “Baekhyun. Hi.”

“Hi. I was… I was invited.”

Baekhyun wants to slap himself. What a stupid thing to say because it is so obvious. It is not like he would follow Sehun and Jongin inside the apartment after seeing them with food. Although…

“Great!” Junmyeon actually lights up.

Well, that is new. And it seems like not just for Baekhyun. Even Sehun and Jongin exchange a look.

“I’ve already got coffee for those two, but do you want some too? I can make you an Americano, I’ve got this amazing coffee machine.”

“That would be wonderful, thanks.”

Junmyeon gives him thumbs up and then disappears back into the kitchen.

At that point, Baekhyun starts to feel a bit awkward because he doesn’t know what to do. He is so familiar with this apartment but now it is Junmyeon’s and suddenly he feels like he cannot just sit anywhere he wants.

He ends up simply watching Sehun and Jongin unpack all of the food. And wow. They were not lying, there is literally all the good stuff on the table.

“Do you guys do this often?” he asks.

“Not really, like twice a month,” Sehun gives him an answer and smiles at him. “It started when Jongin got dumped by one of his evil girlfriends and we wanted to cheer him up, so we brought all the brunch food we could think of to his apartment. And then it became a tradition. It is to keep us in a good mood.”

“What a great tradition,” Baekhyun chuckles. “But one of Jongin’s evil girlfriends?”

“Yeah, well, you know how it goes. The nicest guys sometimes attract the worst girls. And unfortunately, that is also the case with our sweet, innocent Jongin.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says. What an awful world we live in.

“That’s nice of you, but I’m fine. I’ve done a lot of growing up since then.”

Sehun stops arranging the food for a second. “Then why did your last girlfriend burn all the stuff you had in her apartment after you forgot to return one of her calls?”

“Um.”

“Exactly.” Sehun pats Jongin’s head. “That is why you and Junmyeon need me. To find you some decent people to date.”

“Does Junmyeon have a history with bad boyfriends too?” Baekhyun asks without thinking. He should not pry, but he is curious.

“I wish,” Sehun shakes his head as he places chocolate croissants on a plate. “I don’t really mean that, but with Junmyeon it is, you know, it’s more like he has almost no history at all.”

A few seconds after Sehun says that, Junmyeon appears in the living room and places Baekhyun’s Americano in front of him

“Thanks,” Baekhyun flashes him a smile.

“Okay, I think we are ready,” Jongin then exclaims and claps his hands.

~

Baekhyun puts his hand on his stomach as Junmyeon places his second Americano in front of him.

“Thanks,” he says weakly. “I can’t believe we ate it all.”

“Me neither,” Jongin agrees. “Good thing you came otherwise I would probably explode.”

“Same,” Sehun joins in. “How about some games while we digest?”

That proposal is met with excitement, so they all move over to the sofa to choose what they are going to play. Ultimately, Jongin, who turns out to be a big football fan, convinces them to play FIFA. And since Junmyeon owns four controllers, they can play co-op in teams.

Sehun immediately yells out that he wants Baekhyun as his teammate, which surprises Baekhyun, but as Junmyeon and Jongin are preparing the game, Sehun whispers to him that the other two get so serious about playing and winning, which makes Sehun enjoy it less because he does not really care. Baekhyun then explains to Sehun that he gets serious about some games but not that much and definitely not about this one. So, it works.

And then the time just flies. Baekhyun and Sehun have just lost for the second time, and it is definitely no longer morning.

“This was fun, but I need to get back to my handsome boyfriend, who is picking me up in a couple of minutes because he misses me very much,” Sehun stands up.

“Yeah, yeah, go and be happy in your perfect relationship,” Jongin smirks.

“I will,” Sehun ruffles Jongin’s hair aggressively. “Anyway, see you.”

After Sehun leaves, Baekhyun is perfectly fine with not playing and just watching Junmyeon and Jongin battle it out in a very intense match, which takes quite some time.

And not only it is no longer morning, the time has slowly shifted into late afternoon.

“Oh, look at that time, I need to get to my sister’s apartment, I promised I would babysit today,” Jongin says as he notices what time it is. “Baekhyun, it was so nice to get to know you more.”

“Likewise,” Baekhyun smiles. Junmyeon’s friends are really nice people.

“And Junmyeon, I’ll see you on Monday for lunch, right?” Junmyeon nods. “Great. Bye, guys.”

And then there were two. It happened so naturally that Baekhyun did not have time to think about how it would feel like. And now here they are.

“You can leave too, if you…”

“Please, I can’t leave you alone with all of these dishes.”

“Well, that is part of our tradition,” Junmyeon shrugs. “Two people buy food and the remaining one hosts and cleans all the dishes himself.”

“That is fair, but I am a regular guest and I want to help.”

“Okay.” A smile flickers across Junmyeon’s face. “Thanks.”

As they bring all the dishes into the kitchen, Baekhyun helps Junmyeon put some of them into the dishwasher and then he dries all the remaining ones that Junmyeon has washed in the sink. While doing that, Baekhyun talks about what great friends Junmyeon has and Junmyeon agrees, sharing some more information about them.

“Sehun might seem like he has got it all figured out and he does, but before he met Minseok, his current boyfriend, his life was a bit of a mess. That is why we mostly let him gloat about how amazing his relationship is and don’t make fun of him when he wants to be with Minseok as much as possible. It is really nice to see him this happy.”

“That’s so sweet,” Baekhyun coos. They are all adorable. “And Sehun seems like he wants you two to be happy as well.”

“He does. But he tries almost too hard.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for example, he set me up on a blind date. I had no idea that when I was meeting him it would be like that, but the other guy had already all the information, pictures, everything. Sehun must have talked his ear off,” Junmyeon chuckles. “Anyway, during the date it felt like he thought it was a done deal, which I get with how Sehun probably presented me. Eager to be with someone and all those things, you now. And this was then confirmed because he just grabbed my ass when we were leaving the restaurant.”

“Oh no,” Baekhyun frowns. “You don’t just grab someone’s ass on the first date.”

“I agree. But I believe Sehun made him think I would be all over him.”

“And you weren’t.”

“No, not at all,” Junmyeon shakes his head. “I don’t blame Sehun, he means well, he just tries hard to make something happen for us, as I’ve already said.”

“I get it, you are his friends, and he cares about you,” Baekhyun throws the dish towel over his shoulder as they are done with the dishes. “But he should realize that he doesn’t need to try so hard. You are an attractive man, and you are capable of getting so many guys if you want to.”

“Thanks,” Junmyeon smirks. “Anyway, thank you for your help with the dishes, I appreciate it.”

“It’s no big deal.”

This is probably the time when Baekhyun should tell him that he will go home, but he does not feel like it. He wants to stay here a little longer. Perhaps because he is used to this place, and it is like his second home. Or maybe, just maybe he really enjoys Junmyeon’s company.

“By the way, I would love to see what you’ve done with the rest of the place. Would that be okay?”

It is apparent that Junmyeon is a bit hesitant, but in the end, he agrees and gives Baekhyun the grand tour.

As it turns out, Junmyeon has started to use his old room as a home gym. He informs Baekhyun that is because he works a lot and does not have time to go to an actual gym, so he tries to squeeze in workouts when he is at home. Baekhyun cannot relate, but he does certainly appreciate that Junmyeon takes care of himself. As for Jongdae’s old room, it has become Junmyeon’s study room, which Baekhyun finds somewhat ironic given how much Jongdae hated studying alone in his room, so they would always study together in the living room. Junmyeon, on the other hand, is that type who needs to have his own space where he can immerse himself into his work. That is why this set-up totally works for him.

The last room Junmyeon shows Baekhyun is his parent’s old bedroom, which has obviously become Junmyeon’s. And the obvious part is not even the fact that he lives here now. What makes it obvious is how minimalistic it is – there is only a king size bed, a nightstand, and a big wardrobe, nothing more. Junmyeon goes here to sleep and change clothes, that is it.

Baekhyun chuckles as it dawns on him. Junmyeon, not expecting that, turns to him to see if he can find any clue as to what is so funny. But, since they have been both standing in the doorframe, Baekhyun leaning on the left side and Junmyeon on the right, this movement creates a very strange situation because it makes them look into each other’s eyes and realize how little space there is between them.

Sure, it is not like they are extremely close, but they are close enough to feel each other’s physical presence in quite an intense way.

This immediately sends shivers down Baekhyun’s spine. On one hand, he wants to move away and start pretending like this weird moment never happened, but on the other, he feels the need to just attack Junmyeon’s lips and start ripping his clothes off.

 _Damn_. What now? He wishes he could read Junmyeon’s mind because his expression is unreadable. He might as well be thinking about what he is going to have for dinner tonight.

But as Junmyeon starts slowly leaning in, there is no longer the need to read Junmyeon’s mind. His actions say it all.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“As if that would ever happen.”

With that, Baekhyun closes the gap between them and connects their lips. Right after that, however, Junmyeon takes over. He presses Baekhyun against the doorframe and works his mouth against his. Baekhyun groans as it happens, opening his mouth the moment he feels Junmyeon’s tongue beginning to enter.

As their tongues touch, they both just sink into it. It is so hot and breathy but none of them stops even for a second. Baekhyun grinds his hips against Junmyeon’s, hungry for more, to which Junmyeon reacts by putting his hands on Baekhyun’s ass and squeezing it while simultaneously pushing him closer. This kind of friction makes Baekhyun moan and tilt his hand back, and Junmyeon takes advantage of it by immediately kissing and sucking at Baekhyun’s porcelain skin.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun continues to moan. “Junmyeon, bed.”

“Mm,” Junmyeon hums against Baekhyun’s neck.

As soon as they get closer to the bed, Baekhyun practically throws Junmyeon on the mattress and straddles him before attacking his lips once again. As they continue to make out and rub against each other, Baekhyun starts to feel a swelling bulge against his crotch.

“Aren’t we excited?” Baekhyun whispers into Junmyeon’s ear and rubs his hips against Junmyeon’s budding erection, making Junmyeon moan.

“Stop teasing.”

Baekhyun smiles, kisses him on the neck and then moves back to his ear: “Fuck me already then.”

Sure, Baekhyun meant it, but he did not expect to spur Junmyeon on so much. Within the matter of couple of minutes, they are both completely naked, and Baekhyun is lying there with Junmyeon’s lubed up fingers inside him, staring at Junmyeon’s hard dick. God, it is beautiful.

Another thing that Baekhyun certainly did not expected is Junmyeon being so dominant. In his fantasies, and yes, he can admit to them now, it was always him riding Junmyeon, but as Baekhyun is there on all four, moaning and swearing while being pounded like there is no tomorrow, he wouldn’t have it any other way. And when Junmyeon picks up the speed and starts jerking him off, Baekhyun does not need much more to come into Junmyeon’s hand. He tries his best to stay in position as Junmyeon dugs his nails into his hips, clings into him closer and climaxes, but as soon as that is done, Baekhyun collapses on the bed, covered with sweat and breathing heavily.

He closes his eyes to take it all in. His heart beat. The post orgasm clarity. The distinct sound of a condom being taken off. The pleasant fire sensation slowly fading away. All the familiar things. What is new is a small kiss on the shoulder. It is so soft and quick that you could almost miss it, but Baekhyun does feel it and it makes him shiver.

“How do you feel? Are you okay?”

Another shoulder kiss.

“More than okay. You?”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Junmyeon does not sound convincing at all, so Baekhyun opens his eyes and turns his head to face the man lying next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Junmyeon slowly shakes his head. “It’s just… I don’t know how to feel right now.”

“Wow, your brain starts working so soon after sex, that’s impressive, but at the same time kind of annoying if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah, I know, it is really annoying,” Junmyeon chuckles softly.

“Great self-awareness. So, what’s the problem?”

“It’s… I’ve wanted this. Like really wanted. Probably much longer than you realize.” Now that piques Baekhyun’s interest. “But at the same time, I feel like I’ve done something wrong. Like I’ve taken advantage of you.”

“And here we go again with this bullshit,” Baekhyun interrupts him. “Junmyeon, I’ve wanted it as well. Come on, you know this.”

“Yeah, but you’re my brother’s best friend and we’ve grown up together. You might see me as an authority figure.”

“I certainly do not,” Baekhyun snorts. “I’ve always laughed at the fact that you see yourself as an authority figure. Because you’re like two years old than me. That’s nothing. And I’ve certainly never listened to you.”

“True,” Junmyeon smiles. “You know what, forget it. Let’s have a shower and then some food. I’m starving.”

~

“You were right. He’s amazing.”

They are both sitting on Junmyeon’s sofa, just in their underwear and T-shirts, eating cereal because Baekhyun insisted on it (he loves the memories it brings from their childhood) and watching a John Mulaney stand-up special because Baekhyun insisted on that as well (he wants Junmyeon to get to know one of his big inspirations).

“I know, right?”

Baekhyun is now done with his cereal so he places his bowl down on the coffee table, lies across the sofa and puts his legs in Junmyeon’s lap.

“But you are nothing like him when you do your stand-up,” Junmyeon comments and starts stroking Baekhyun’s calves.

“It’s not about that,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “He’s not my inspiration because I want to imitate him, I just want to be as good as him at telling jokes and stories but in my own way.”

“I see.”

As they continue to watch the special, Baekhyun must admit that it is endearing to watch Junmyeon giggle at the jokes. And it is so comfortable to spend time with him. And the sex they’ve just had! Oh my god.

The only thing that pisses Baekhyun off is that Junmyeon is so unsure. And perhaps he still even sees Baekhyun as someone who is young and innocent. Someone who is easily influenced. It sucks, and Baekhyun needs to change that.

And then it hits him. He needs to show Junmyeon that this is what he really wants and that this is truly his own decision.

So, he takes action. He moves from his previous lying position into straddling Junmyeon.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun whispers. “Continue watching.”

He then leans closer and starts planting kisses all over Junmyeon neck while slowly rolling his hips, creating friction between him and Junmyeon, which is not very difficult as they are both only in their underwear.

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon moans and steadies Baekhyun with his hands on Baekhyun’s hips.

“Shh, watch and let me do this.”

Baekhyun’s grinds up against Junmyeon even more intensely now, creating a steady rhythm, and his kisses quickly turn into sucking and biting. He is very pleased when after a few moments Junmyeon’s dick starts hardening, announcing that he likes the attention he is getting. Oh, and the attention he is going to get.

Baekhyun gives Junmyeon one more kiss, and then proceeds to get down from the sofa, drop on his knees and pull Junmyeon’s underwear down.

“Hey, you don’t –”

“I want to. Just enjoy the show.”

“Which one?”

“Exactly.”

~

“Well, you look unusually chipper today,” Chanyeol comments when they are both getting ready backstage the next day.

“Please, I look the same as always,” Baekhyun waves him off.

“No, you don’t,” Chanyeol continues to examine him visually. “Did you get laid?”

“I don’t kiss and tell,” Baekhyun singsongs. He knows he should probably tone it down, but he is in a really good mood and nothing can change that.

“Sure. So, who is it? That Junmyeon guy?”

No, he cannot hold back anymore. “Fuck yeah, it’s him! Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, you have no idea. I had trouble walking this morning.”

“And that’s good?” Chanyeol makes a grimace.

“Oh, Chanyeol, you poor straight guy,” Baekhyun ruffles his hair. “Yeah, it’s more than good.”

“Good to know,” Chanyeol chuckles. “So are you like hooking up right now? Or dating?”

“Well, obviously…” Baekhyun starts in a very confident way, but he quickly realizes there is nothing obvious about it. “I mean, he knows for sure that… well, at least I hope… we didn’t talk about it, but he knows, right?”

“How would I know?” Chanyeol simply shrugs his shoulders.

 _Damn_ , Baekhyun thinks to himself and starts biting his lower lip, which is something he always does when he feels nervous and overwhelmed. He cannot believe he has spent the whole day thinking he and Junmyeon are on the same page when it might be the exact opposite.

“It’s okay, buddy, let’s get some drinks after the show and talk it out,” Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

~

It is two o’clock in the morning. Baekhyun is banging on Junmyeon’s door. He is pretty drunk at the moment, but not too drunk to just let things go.

Junmyeon opens the door while rubbing his eyes. This time he is wearing only his boxer shorts, but his hair is sticking out on the side as per usual.

“Baekhyun.” He says in his raspy _I’ve just woken up_ voice. “What are you doing here? I have work in the morning.”

“Shut up, work’s not important,” Baekhyun barges into the apartment. “I have a question to ask you, and it is important.”

“I think I’m getting a feeling of déjà vu.”

“Well, you might, but this time I am not leaving without an answer,” Baekhyun folds his arms.

“Okay,” Junmyeon furrows his brows. He has no idea what is going on. “What’s the question?”

“Did you just want to fuck me, or do you want something more?”

“Um, well.” Junmyeon is obviously caught off guard. “What do you want?”

“No, no, no, that’s not how this is going to work. You go first.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth to object to this decision but closes it just as quickly. He realizes he is not getting out of this one.

“I had a great time last night.” Oh no, Baekhyun does not like how this starts. “And I’m clearly very fond of you.” This does not sound good at all. Did he really read the situation this badly? “But are you sure you would want to be with someone like me?”

Huh? Baekhyun blinks. “Why?”

“Because I am me,” Junmyeon throws his hands up. “I have a job which I love but most people find boring. I am a stickler for rules and a very serious person, so I often don’t know how to relax or have fun. And I’m just not a very interesting person in general.”

“You’re right,” Baekhyun nods. “Well, except for the interesting part. I find you very interesting.”

“You do?”

“Yes. Surprisingly, I do.”

“Are you sure about that?” Junmyeon chuckles.

“I am,” Baekhyun smirks. “So?”

“So, I guess that I would like us to be something more?”

“You guess?!”

Baekhyun might actually be offended by the lack of determination.

“Sorry, that was really poor phrasing,” Junmyeon covers his face with his hands. “I’m bad at this.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. As long as you promise me that from now on, you will answer all of my questions honestly and not evade the answers.”

“I promise,” Junmyeon immediately hugs Baekhyun and gives him a quick kiss. “Look, I don’t want to spoil the mood, but I really need to get some sleep.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun sighs. That is what he gets for getting a boyfriend who cares so much about his work and about being there on time in the morning.

“Thanks,” Junmyeon kisses him again. “But that does not mean you have to leave. Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

Baekhyun does not even hesitate and immediately agrees. And as he later lies there in the bed next to Junmyeon, who is actually fast asleep, he realizes how stupid he used to be.

He could never hate Junmyeon. Sure, he could be annoyed by him and perhaps even irritated, but that is not hate. No. What he actually feels for Junmyeon and what he has perhaps felt for him for a long time without admitting it is much different. It is this weird mixture of gratitude, love, admiration and attraction. And maybe because it so many emotions at once, he did not know how to deal with it before. But he does now.

He smiles at the sleeping man and snuggles against him, letting himself be taken by all of those wonderful emotions.


End file.
